take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your penis caused this!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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