My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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