hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
