I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
a search helicopter?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
