Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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