Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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