She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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