I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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