yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You made out with two different species that night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
