Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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