dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
