worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
