I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
