There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
