u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
