Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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