Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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