TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
