just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
