i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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