I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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