his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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