"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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