am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
