My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
