are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
