upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
