Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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