Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
