Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He did a backflip because drugs
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
