I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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