I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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