I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You were trust falling into bushes
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
