The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
