i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
