best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
try to milk me bitch
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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