Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
