she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
