Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
