I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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