no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
