i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
