Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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