Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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