hotel room ftw
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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