I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
