Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
