I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
