what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
