You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
