Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
